Memories of a special day
For Rochester resident Cathy, the thought of attending her son’s wedding seemed impossible. Cathy has Chronic Obstructive Airways Disease and Osteoporosis and can only travel short distances due to the extreme pain she suffers.
The wedding was to be an outside affair in Tooborac, almost 100km away. Cathy had mentioned it to her doctor, however he advised her not to attend as he considered her bones too brittle to handle the long drive.
Then, barely two weeks out from the big day, Cathy heard about Flying Doctor Memory Lane.
Launched in 2021, Flying Doctor Memory Lane is a free service that supports people in end-of-life care to visit a place of personal significance. The transports are facilitated by qualified volunteers and utilise purpose-built vehicles to ensure clients reach their moment safely and comfortably.
Cathy went back to her doctor and explained that through Memory Lane she would be able undertake the journey lying down in a stretcher with continuous oxygen supply. This time he was supportive.
“I really only heard about the service a week and a half before the wedding, and so I assumed it would be too hard to organise it in time,” Cathy explains.
“But it was all confirmed and locked in with drivers within two days – I could not believe it. And they had really thought it out. They’d heard I had recently broken my back and that the journey might be a little bit difficult, so they allowed extra time to drive more slowly, and to have a stop so they could check in on me and ensure I had a rest.”
When the vehicle arrived at Cathy’s house, the volunteer staff were met with two of the biggest smiles you could imagine.
This was the first time Cathy had left her house for anything other than a medical appointment in more than three years, and for her partner Heck, this was a chance to relax and enjoy the day for himself.
The drive took a little more than an hour.
The Memory Lane volunteers, Craig and Lynette, chatted to Cathy and Heck the whole way. They learned that Cathy’s husband – Mark’s dad – had passed away from cancer when Mark was only 15. If it wasn’t for Memory Lane, Mark would not have had either parent at his wedding.
They learned that Cathy had found love again, and that she and Heck lived a very full life. They would head out every weekend to go camping and explore Victoria’s great outdoors.
Then one day, Cathy woke up sick, and their dream weekends came to a grinding halt. At that point, life became about survival.
But this day was not survival – this was celebration.
“It all ran so smoothly,” explains Cathy. “We got there with plenty of time so there was no rush – and the volunteers made such an effort to get my wheelchair through the long grass – they were incredible.”
Cathy and Heck had a special area on level land with umbrellas for protection – and a clear view of the ceremony. She had made it to her son’s wedding.
“During the ceremony, a butterfly appeared and was flying around Mark and his bride to be – then it moved on to my daughter and anyone in the front row. It wouldn’t leave them alone. It was like fly in summer, but people didn’t mind because it was a beautiful butterfly.
“Later at the reception, the best man spoke and said he thought the butterfly was David – Mark’s dad – who was there to see over the day. It was beautiful.”
At the reception, Cathy met her in-laws for the first time, and caught up with Mark’s school friends.
“All of Mark’s mates came up to say hello. I’d known them when they were little, because when you live in the country, kids all descend on each other’s houses, so one night you might be feeding five of them! I hadn’t seen them in years, but they all gave me big hugs and kisses.”
Craig and Lynette remarked that they felt like official guests, not volunteer support. They ate with the family, played games, and got to hear the indelible mark Cathy had left on her family. They said they felt embarrassed by all the people thanking them for making it possible.
The plan was to leave at 5:00pm, but the itinerary was thrown out the window.
“I’m not in great shape,” says Cathy. “I don’t have the energy to go for long, so we agreed on a time to leave that I thought I could enjoy, and would also be fair to the volunteers who needed to not only get back to Rochester, but then make their way back to Melbourne. But I was having such a great time, and I felt so energized, I made it to 7:30pm. Nothing was too much for Craig and Lynette, they were beautiful.”
Cathy was exhausted but said that she couldn’t sleep on the drive home.
“I was pretty pumped up. I hadn’t felt like that in years – it was incredible.”
While the day itself was remarkable for the entire family, the benefit of the journey became even more for Cathy.
“What it did for me, is that it gave me the confidence to go out. I’m on oxygen, so it’s hard for me to do anything other, but this gave me the ability to leave my home and be there with others.”
“It did a lot for my confidence, and it did a lot for my soul. I know I don’t have long left, so for someone in my situation, it’s made a big difference in my life.
“Making it to the wedding was beyond what I thought possible. It was a beautiful day and it’s created a new memory for me, and a memory that will be with me every day until I die.
“And when the professional photos came back we got another chance to revisit the day – and the best part about those photos…?
"I’m in them.”
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